About Me

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My name is Robin. This is me. I'm 51 now - 5 years after I started this blog. I am an adoptive mom In an open non monogamous marriage, and enjoy my sex life more than I did at 25! Post menopausal - on bioidentical hormone therapy, Have had 2 plastic surgeries that I feel totally unapologetic about, Have lost 30 pounds and am more fit and healthy than I have ever been. I'm constantly in search of spiritual, health, and personal development. I want to share and learn from other women, I want to have fun, I want to talk about all the things that are embarrassing and that women of a certain age shouldn't talk about - yea right! I want to dress like a rock star, wear crazy makeup and be totally age INAPPROPRIATE. I want to do what it takes to look and feel energetic and young and I'm not ashamed of that. I'll work out, I'll eat right, I'll take supplements and hormones and I'll get plastic surgery, wear makeup and wear a the sexiest most smokin hot lingerie I can find So tune in if you want to see more - check your assumptions of who a 50 year old woman is at the fucking door - because this is not that blog!

Monday, March 29, 2010

winner winner chicken dinner!

I won the embellished t shirt contest at work! Yay! I have been trying to move back into design and this will be kind of a good thing to have under my belt! It made my Monday nice.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Baby steps



Today I started seriously thinking for the first time in a very very long time about planning our nursery. As I wrote before this is a big step for me since we lost 2 of our 4 babies in 2nd trimester, we were well into thinking and planning,so now planning is a bit unsettling for me and sad to say does not always bring back the happiest memories for us. But we have been planning to do some other things with the house and I thought I have to start thinking about that baby room sooner or later. So I sat down all afternoon and looked at stuff online. Once I got to looking and started thinking about how close we are to being in the book I started feeling a little better. I feel better to at least have a plan, and I may even buy some fabric.
It is difficult thinking of a good look that is gender neutral, especially for me because believe it or not I love super girly huge bright florals with over stuffed buttony furniture. I would love to do the whole room in Marimeko or in the Liberty stuff we have at Target right now. Brian likes very clean mid-century modern so that makes it easier to do a neutral look and since that is what the rest of our house is I have come up with a couple of looks that I like.
I love the multi color look and the rocking chair in this one is from Ikea which means we can afford it, especially because the crib is rather expensive for us even on sale. Also the print in this one is fabric so I could save a lot by making the bedding. The second look I love with the little owls but I don't think we can afford because the rocker is insanely expensive, the crib is expensive and the bedding is purchased.
Anyway at least I now have ideas to think about. All we really need is a bed side sleeper, a car seat, oh and a baby!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Love these pompom socks over the tights

 

Never seen Granny Squares look so good!

I will be making one of these for sure!!!!! I think the key is to wear with an amazingly polished outfit like this and crochet it in super lux yarns.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Fun weekend

Our BFF Jenny and her adorable daughter Bella came for a visit this weekend. We had a lot of fun shopping, crafting and playing Wii.
Brian and Bella had fun coloring

Jenny ate a mountain of chicken wings, thats why we luv her!


Bella and Baba made some crochet peeps


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Thank God for bike rides...

Because I am not thrilled with the state of things right now and biking makes my mood a little better. The adoption stuff is frustrating me this week. A couple of weeks ago LSS was pulling the profiles of their families that are not in the book yet for a birth mother who wanted to see additional profiles. So we found out we were not one of the families she narrowed down to. So, I know this was the first person to even look at our profile, but we are also not getting very far with networking and I am as always feeling that I am not working hard enough at the networking. I haven't been able to get our profile posted on Parent Profiles yet and some of the free site I have tried are just a mess. I can't help but worry that we will have a hard time finding a match because we have weird jobs, or because we don't seem stable or traditional enough. But I do want someone who really likes us and who we are. I just hope it doesn't take 2 years to find that person! Anyway, I can't seem to help wondering what it was that put us in the out pile. So because I get so down thinking about bad things here are the good things: We are now only 4th on the waiting list! According to our adoption worker we have minimal adjustments to do on our profile. I am crocheting peeps at the moment and will post pics, we are going to the movies and dinner on Sat with Jomanda (Amanda and Joe) and it is light enough after work to ride bikes, Yay!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Baby stuff?

Don't know if I should post stuff like this. But I guess my purpose of this blog was to put down my feelings without editing too much and not just post goofy crochet stuff. Anyway, we went to HH with our adoptapeeps (my term for the other waiting families that we are networking with) and everyone is buying baby stuff already and so confident, not that they shouldn't be, but it worries me that I am still so afraid and unwilling to put myself out there. I guess we have been hurt so badly so many times that I am still so afraid. But it makes me feel like I don't deserve it as much because I don't have my hopes up so much. I am not thinking about it every moment, I still have this shield around us. I think subconsciously it is hard for me to let go and realize the with adoption we will eventually have a baby.
I don't know what we will do if we have a failed adoption. I don't think after everything that has happened to us that I could take it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think about that a lot or even really anticipate it but I think that must be the reason that I can't seem to get into this state of buying baby things. I think I need, and must go somewhere and buy something. I need to take that step and buy something or make something for our future baby and sit for a while with it and think about it and then consciously let myself get to this place where I can anticipate this baby that will surely come to us soon. I am so happy for our future baby whoever he or she might be.
Maybe what I will do is make that little suede and fur Minnesota style earflap baby hat and uggs that I have always wanted to make - and keep them. I always give everything away. I am going to make them in confidence that by winter we will have a little bean to wear them.
So there it is, my sentimental tirade, hope you enjoyed!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Well... it's done



The T-shirts that is. I am not sure I am crazy about either of them. My execution and creativity kinda sucks. I hope I don't embarrass myself because there are some very talented people at Target, soo...
Anyway they are done and I can get back to doing something I really enjoy - like knitting a spring scarf! And of course adoption networking which really needs more of my attention.

Brian looks cute with a baby!




Brian and Ajda's daughter Azra. Bri was getting a little baby holding practice at brunch today. Oh and I didn't have any objections to holding the cuddly, squirmy, smiley, little bundle either!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Having fun with Erin


Erin is the cutest friend! I am lucky B and I have such wonderful peeps around us. This is what we think we will look like when we're old and have no teeth.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Crochet peeps

You have got to be kidding me! I am making these! Ordering yarn tonight!

More fabulous knit inspiration

Loving this knit inspiration